stat

-first day of work at House of Hope (www.houseofhopekc.org) :: t-minus 1 hr 43 minutes
-number of stairs to create leg pain from Saturday's workout :: 1
-number of books i am currently attempting to read :: 6
-cd on repeat :: sufjan stevens' seven swans
-days left til nicaragua :: 88

some of the random things occupying my mind at the time. i'm kind of resistant to starting this job, not because i don't wish to work there or because i don't think it will be good, but rather it is the last job/task i will have here in the states. and with that comes a flood of all the little fears and uncertainties that having been creeping behind my consciousness. like, who will walk this journey with me here in the states when i am so far away? how will i keep those people i love so much near to my heart? how will i allow change without losing touch with those parts of me that i wish to remain? and then there are the ones that loom in the distant...the ones surrounding my return.

all of these things, i know, are not anything i can or need to control, nor worry about. however, my heart is having a little trouble trusting. so i end up crying over how good ice cream is...good thing i have good gal pals who find this normal and don't think i am crazy person.

i guess this is just part of the journey...here we go!