Wednesday, October 31, 2012

happy halloween!

-or as the first graders think, happy birthday satan...?
- let´s just let that sink in...
- here in nicaragua its a HUGE no no to celebrate halloween...that if you do, you are sinning and worshipping the devil and participating in pagan rituals.
- it´s just hard for me to swallow that.
- and to me, not that important to argue about
- so no caramel apples, pumpkins or sugar overloads for me...never mind that a lot of what you all enjoy in celebration there is not available here
- it makes me feel like it´s not really october 31st....for me, this day was always grey and wet but exciting, full of parties and silliness and candy (how i love candy) and basically an amp up to my birthday...
- so i feel out of place where it´s sunny, HOT and not a costume or party in sight.
- but it´s alright...because it really isn´t recommendable to eat as much sugar as i normally would on halloween (or in the entire month and a half that its on sale....LOVE me some reese´s pumpkins) and i´m too old for costumes...and i already dress up for the many silly activities my school does.
- so i´m good. even better when i remember where i´m at with my kids in high school...
- we read charles dickens´david copperfield. and we are currently watching the bbc version (to which they exclaim harry potter! how cute!!)
- we were watching the scene between agnes and david just as they were becoming youth, and david tells agnes she is his dearest sister...in response to that, they all sigh and more than 2 students simultaneously declared, with the conviction of the most profoundest truths, FRIENDZONE.
- thanks to cable, i actually know what this is (only about 2 weeks ago hah!) and i just had to laugh at how they use their everyday context to fully grasp this victorian england classic.
- it made me love dickens even more.
- i think i need to expose them to some jane austen. or john steinbeck. or any number of great classics.
- alas, i can only do 4 books in a year...both because of budget and time. and i already have my three year course marked out...but man, i wish i had a library for them. or just more hours.
- makes me wonder how i will feel next year not teaching them.
- it´s exhausting and overwhelming but i LOVE it...and am not quite sure i want to give it up...
- maybe having a psychologist and nurse next year will save me some time...
- we´ll see where i end up :)
- today in hacia i am going to walk them through the OAS letter and human rights declarations...and then teach them what is guantanamo bay. we´ll see how they react.
- i admire those who write a daily blog...it´s tough! half because of time and the other half because who knows what you´re going to say!
- i´m trying to pick up the discipline again, not caring if its messy or unfinished or not pleasing. just trusting that it is worthwhile to create.
- i think i´m worrying my fellow teachers...i abandoned the uniforms this week and have been coming in dressier clothes...a dress, a pencil skirt/tank combo, a skirt and blazer...and they all marvel and say where are you going? where´s the party?
- truth is, it´s my way of faking it til i make it...cus i am SO ready for vacation!
- yesterday was my bff´s birthday...and as i chatted with her online briefly it made me think of all these friendships that i dearly miss and yet have drifted farther and farther away from.
- i want to reconnect...to reinvolve myself in their lives and them in mine...let´s hope there´s still that possibility!
- picked back up with insanity and power walking...i think the power walk left me sorer than shaun t!
- tomorrow i turn 28. i remember as a kid and youth i always said 28 was my favorite number.
- not really sure why, it was just pleasing to me, balanced and full and calm.
- i´m hoping that those things are the base for my 28th year...a year in which i hope to experience new stages of life, opening of doors and closing of others, of digging in deep where it really matters.
- its a year of hope, of refreshment, of enjoyment...and tomorrow, i´ll only have one thing to post...:)

Saturday, October 27, 2012

26(ish) bits

- spent 5 hours analyzing student data...and in each case, wanting to expound on why the tools we were using were not relevant...
- so we took turns on expounding, so as to not wear ourselves out
- horrified at the reality many of my students face
- wanting to ignore it, not really able to do anything about it...
- and yet it´s my responsibility to deal with it.
- spontaneous girls night out turned into a relaxing evening, tasty supper...
- and greeting all my students that were at the same place :)
- my love is far away...sleeping on a porch in hammocks with his male relatives. so glad i stayed home :).
- family members moving tomorrow, will miss having the little munchkins over for saturday breakfast.
- bruno (our pitbull) has one ear that sticks up and one that flops down...permanently inquisitive.
- sold my dell, looking to invest in an ipad...i used to swear i´d never be a mac girl...guess things change.
- getting ready to enter the last month of school...thank the Lord!
- looking for something fun to do with my kids after exams...a fun song maybe...any suggestions?
- started the day with a chai...reminded me of student teaching days...fridays were chai and cinnamon sugar bagel days
- finished it with a pitahya and limoncello gelato mix. refreshing.
- so many things to get done this weekend...
- but a huge desire to do nothing...
- we´ll see where i end up sunday.
- 18 out of 26 and sleep is creeping in.
- guess i´ll just owe you some
- imperfect prose.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

25 things

- what is it about not getting things done that suffocate me? is it the feeling of failure? of irresponsibility? of being stuck and not moving forward?
- how do you deal with not getting things done?
- i dislike very strongly lying, exaggerating children. they make my life so much more complicated.
- thursday is my least favorite day. i´m the most tired, the most apt to be less than enthusiastic about the day, and just generally cranky because i know i still have one more day to do but nothing left to give.
- i miss fall
- husband going to the countryside...today or tomorrow. part of me is glad for some solitude, another is not happy about not getting to have the weekend with him.
- sometimes i dislike being an introvert.
- how do you really care for yourself as an introvert when your world demands that you be an extrovert?
- fries with cheese are #1 on my care list...don´t know if that´s really appropriate.
- i miss soft pretzels with cheese...no matter how many recipes i try here, nothing even comes close to the pretzel maker.
- what would it look like to get a franchise of pretzel maker down here?
- cinnabon made it down...why not auntie annes? anyone interested in making this happen? i´d give you a place to stay...
-i feel like the school is huffing and puffing through its last weeks...the kids, the teachers, the parents...everyone is worn down. and i wonder, how could we prevent this?
- my birthday is in 1 week. i´m not sure what i want to do.
- i do know i want it to involve papa john´s pizza. and maybe a ceasar salad.
- i am woefully disappointed in my lack of important things to say.
- next year represents a new season...growing to 400 students, 2 sections all throughout elementary school...and around 6 teachers leaving. i can only pray and trust that He knows what He´s doing.
- my thesis for post grad school is about the impact of the family environment on academic stats. the goal is to make a statement about parental responsiblity, partnership between school and family, offer practical solutions...but in the end, i know some just need redemption. and not a single strategy will function without that. not truly, anyway.
- looking to buy an ipad at the end of this year...trying one out tomorrow to see if i like it.
- struggling, surprisingly, to switch to all digital...my time here has made me more of a paper girl again and i find myself wrestling with my impulse to write stuff on paper when i know i´ll just have to type it in the database later.
- communication is the most vital and easiest to screw up component of our lives...i see this DAILY. and i find that the root of most of our problems (be it work, school, friends, family) is due to this. how can we become better communicators?
- makes me wonder...was it really necessary to scramble languages?
- ...of course it was...we are too natively arrogant to depend on God by ourselves.
- depend on Him. rely on Him. walk WITH Him...why is this so hard to learn and practice?
- i miss my park in kc...that i can´t even name right now! dear Lord.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

first 24 things...

got this idea from elora nicole´s website...and it inspired me in that it is simple and without frills...just a pouring out. i like that. so here goes, 24 things (because todays the 24th).
 - balancing stress is like walking a tightrope...and my body has become ultrasensitive about it...the slightest rise in stress and my body freaks out.
 - i love painting my nails in jewel tones...its this new thing i´m reclaiming.
 - i feel like my to-do list at work is a charm of hummingbirds flitting around and i just want to stick them all in their agenda cage!
 - yes i just looked that up and was pleasantly surprised by what a group of hummingbirds is called.
 - speaking of bird group names, you should read...crap. i don´t remember what book it was that has for titles different bird group names. anyone know?
 - fighting for your personal spiritual freedom can be exhausting. and exhilarating. and easily forgotten.
 - kind of ready for this election stuff to be over. i feel like everyone´s got on their red or blue glasses and no one, for the life of them, can even think about seeing purple or have asked themselves is seeing in blue or red is really the answer.
 - i´m guessing it´s not the answer...just sayin´.
 - so everyone here in nicaragua freaked out because they brought out the old rumor about the government enforcing chip implantment...if you could hashtag conversations here in nicaragua it would read #apocalipsis #findelmundo #eeuueseldiablo? and other fun end of the world chatter. good thing here no one really believes the news.
 - preparing birthday dinners are fun. and tiring.
 - hacia kids selected. feeling good about the options. on to fundraising for expenses...it´s in punta cana DR! - torn about not teaching next year. sanity wise, it will be so much better to just focus on administration. passion wise, i´m gonna miss it.
 - i kind of wish we only needed 5 hours of sleep a night to feel refreshed.
 - i don´t know where the post office is in managua, ergo i miss writing letters. and receiving letters.is it cheating to email and ask the other to mail me their response?
 - really...only 14 things i´ve written so far?
 - those f...un hummingbirds are buzzing around, bothering me about why am i not taming them yet!!
 - would love just some me time to ponder as long as i want about my silly list of thoughts.
 - missing vacation.
 - except i tend to work vacations...
 - do you ever just get tired of yourself? of your habits and patterns that you just can´t seem to change?
 - i know...God is the game changer. but just once, it´d be fun to switch off parts of yourself that aren´t pleasant.
 - anyone watched homeland? it´s kind of crazy. not sure how i feel about it.
 - reading a lot about human trafficking lately. really bothers me. makes me sick...how is it that God has not destroyed us yet?? i wonder if he regrets his promise to not destroy the human race again...i can only long for the day He returns...we are not going to be able to clean up this mess without him.
 - feeling heavy, thinking of my fellow women around the world (around the block) that are abused, beaten, mistreated, denied rights, used...Lord have mercy.

 well. this is why i don´t think too much. it gets heavy real fast. your thoughts?