i enjoy a good crisp white wine with supper. i adore that Jesus busted out the best wine at the end of a wedding feast. and i love the idea of wine being crushed or pressed out of grapes. it reminds me of the hope that something rich and good can come out of a hard and painful process.
there isn't a way to simply express the heaviness, the weight of this pressing like the wine press that slowly threshes the juice from yielding skins. i feel that weight, and like those grapes i feel like my very essence is dripping away. it's exhausting. to think that i really believed in change, that i really trusted that they too were taking the journey of forgiveness and humility. that we were really walking towards restoration. that the wine press had been put away.
and yet here we are. suddenly i find myself squeezed again, right back where i was before and surprised, because it's not what i expected.
before, wine was made by crushing the grapes with harvest dances. as wine making advanced, they began to make presses to improve sanitary conditions but also to improve the overall quality of the wine. it becomes richer, lasts longer and even reduces the need for the winemaker to use preservatives. pressed, and not crushed leads to a better final product.
did you catch that? richer. longer. less preservatives. better final product. sounds like how i'd want to describe my journey, my spiritual life.
so i stop letting this latest press freak me out. i stop struggling against it, as if i could stop it or change it. instead, i yield, trusting the Winemaker to take the sorrow and hurt and longing that is poured out and turn it into something that blesses.