a starved imagination

God has a way of weaving oswald chambers words' into my everyday circumstances...just fit right in there. this morning i was reading these last few days entries in my utmost for his highest...and this line just stopped me.
"The starvation of the imagination is one of the most fruitful sources of exhaustion and sapping in a worker's life..."

he spends several days discussiing this, how the Israelites starved their imagination looking into the faces of idols, taking isaiah 40 as his base.

and i'm sliced through, seeing how these everyday demands keep my eyes down here, instead of pondering His face. how i look at my own hands and panic, instead of taking joy in the strength in His. how i cringe as my heart empties out once again, forgetting that His love is continually flowing, always just a spark away.

i've been so worn-out. and yet chambers again doesn't find this impressive...we are expected to be poured out, broken as an offering. this is what we are called to. the issue comes when we don't let that pouring out come from the source, but from our pitiful broken cisterns.

it's a matter of will, not emotion. it's a choice, to look up, to activate, to remember.

and as simple as that, there's a spark of color, a flash of light. a joy bubbling up. a peace. a perfect moment in a sunny corner, hearing your husband share the GLORY of Jesus with a young man on the street. a rolling in that deep place as i explore new music (to me hah). an easing into restfulness, though busy.

i love how He loves me. how He reminds me, beckons me, asks me to come again and again. how lovely and merciful is He!

may i reflect THIS. His love, His mercy, His plans..."This abandon to the love of Christ is the one thing that bears fruit in the life, and it will always leave the impression of the holiness and of the power of God, never of our personal holiness." Chambers. may it be so.