just saying...

can i be really honest? i mean, like, beyond what most would be comfortable saying when they're being really sincere?

i don't write here...because i feel invisible. and that it's not worth putting it out there. that it doesn't matter. that what i'm living and doing isn't important.

yep. said it. all of its ugly glory. and those who would rush to say but that's not true! don't say it. it will just feed this ugly lie.

what is the truth? Lamentations says "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." He is enough. He is what makes this worth it, any of it!

i guess we could call this a refining moment. the layers being peeled back to reveal just another crack in what i like to pretend is perfect. c'mon...everyone likes to think that they're right...we have difficulty saying i screwed up, i have flaws.

what i'm realizing is that this particular belief of mine may very well be silencing something God wants me to do...not because people will read it, not because it will make an impact, not any reason other than He wants me to do it...which means it will be for good.

so i'm gonna ask for more grace. grace upon grace He promises, so i'm gonna take Him at His word. and i'm gonna try to do this. because i feel deeply that its something i'm supposed to be doing...for whatever reason.

so here it goes.